Secret
by heartgirl9229
Summary: What happens when Kagome leaves InuYasha and her son due to reasons she felt extremely important at the time. What happens if she still loved him, even 5 years after leaving? What if her new life collides with her new one? based on Reba's song: Secret
1. She has a secret

_i don't own inuyasha or the song Secret by Reba Macintire_

_She's quiet this morning  
She can't say why  
Sends her husband off to work  
With a kiss goodbye  
Unlocks that old diary  
Turns to the third of May  
Adds another tear to the page  
And it's lonely being the only one  
Who knows the truth  
_

Kagome watched Kouga walk towards her before leaving for Taisho Inc. He kissed her on the lips and told her he'd be late getting home. Kagome watched him leave and walked back to her bedroom.

Kagome opened up a drawer in her bedside table and pulled out a faded diary with 'Sorrow' written on the front cover. She took the key from the drawer and opened it. May 3rd. Kagome began to cry as she wrote about a secret she alone had been plagued with.

Silently, Kagome wrote down her agony.

_chorus  
She has a secret  
That she can never tell  
One wrong decision  
Still puts her heart through hell  
Does he miss her  
Did he forgive her  
The love that they shared will  
Always be a secret_

A tear fell onto the page. Ever since she had left, she couldn't stop the 'what ifs' from rolling around in her head.

'InuYasha' a name she would never be able to forget. The last time she had talked to one of her old friends, she had informed her that InuYasha wanted her to die, but she was devastated when Akira said he wanted her dead. That had been five years ago.

Ever since she had left InuYasha with… no. She couldn't bring herself to admit what she had done, more tears fell, but her words didn't smudge.

Kagome knew what her new life entailed and her old life couldn't be in it. No one would ever find out.

_  
Only she knows, she still loves him  
And she hates the choice she made  
Wishes she could find him  
Tell him why she walked away  
Every day gets harder, livin' with herself  
But she knew he'd be better off, raised by someone else  
God, it's lonely being the only one  
Who knows the truth  
_

Akira, her son. He turned seven last month.

Kagome hated leaving him but it couldn't be helped. With everything that was going on then… no, it couldn't be helped, but he couldn't possibly know that.

Kagome began to reminisce and remembered the day she left, and it had been hard. Everyday she tried to forget her past. Everyday she attempted to live the new life she had set for herself.

Kagome halted her tears. 'No, he's better off without me, they both are.' A tear fell despite her efforts to hold them back.

She wondered what would happen if someone in her new life found out about her mistake.

_  
chorus _

She unlocks that old diary  
Turns to the third of May  
Adds another tear to the page

Kagome shook her head to sort out her thoughts and finished her entry, she could never tell anyone. With another tear, she locked the diary up and put it back into the bedside table, Ayame would be over soon and she didn't want anyone asking questions.

This was her secret.


	2. One she could never tell

Ayame knocked on the door and waited for Kagome to open it. Her friends from college and her were getting together today and they told her to bring a friend.

Ayame knocked again, getting impatient.

"Coming!" The voice sounded forced, but Ayame ignored it, Kagome was constantly like that. The door opened and Kagome forced a smile to her friend. She locked the door and followed Ayame to her sports car.

Kagome stared at her jeans all throughout the hour and a half ride.

"Kagome? I can't tell you how much it means to me that you'll go with me to this!" Ayame exclaimed once she parked her car.

The reunion was at one of the old student's houses, and only a few were coming.

The two walked up to the door and Kagome's eyes flew wide open.

"Ayame, who's house is this?" Kagome's voice came out all scratchy and muffled, but she attempted to hold back her tears. Ayame shook off Kagome's odd behavior; after all, Ayame was the only one who knew Kagome often did this. Everyone though thought it to be her being emotionally unstable.

"One of my best friends, come on! You'll love his son too! He's such a doll!"

Ayame forced Kagome to the door and she knocked.

Right away, the door was opened by a seven year old child.

"Hey, Akira! How have you been?"

The young boy shrugged his shoulders and let the two adults in.

"Where is your dad? I want him to meet my friend!" Ayame smiled widely.

"…He's in the living room somewhere…" The boy looked sown in shame and disappeared to the back of the house.

"Poor kid… ever since his mom left him, he's been a wreck. What kind of person would actually leave their kid and never even keep contact! Do you know how heartless that is!" Kagome listened to Ayame and tried to agree… but she couldn't say anything.

"Kagome? Kagome?" Kagome looked up at Ayame. "You don't look to good. Do you want to leave?"

Kagome would have loved to say yes, but she knew how much this meant to Ayame.

"No, but I'm going to go talk to him." Ayame looked confused, but watched Kagome go towards the back of the house and headed towards the living room.

I don't own InuYasha


	3. One Wrong Decision

**Disclaimer – I don't own InuYasha**

Ayame dragged Kagome towards her college friend.

"InuYasha, meet Kagome. She's one of the nicest people you will ever meet." She smiled widely.

InuYasha's eyes got big. "'Yame, can I talk to your friend in another room, away from prying ears?"

Ayame shook her head yes and gave Kagome a shove forward. InuYasha led her into his bedroom and quickly shut his door.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here?" He yelled.

"Ayame made me come InuYasha, I had no clue. I'm sorry…" but she was cut off.

"Sorry! For what? For leaving? For not telling anyone? For your son hating women? Tell me Kagome, or get out."

Kagome hung her head. "I-I couldn't stay InuYasha, I-"

"You could have! Now you come back years later? Fuck you. I think I've heard enough."

"No! Do you know how hard it is? Living with the what-ifs? I made a huge mistake, but that isn't why I came!"

"Then leave."

"I can't."

InuYasha glared at Kagome and forced her to leave to the living room.

"Give me a chance and I'll explain everything."


	4. That Put Her Heart Through Hell

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha of the song Secret. InuYasha is Rumiko Takahashi's and Secret belongs to Reba McEntire.

"You want to explain yourself? Fine, meet me here tomorrow at noon, you'll have until I need to pick Akira up." InuYasha push passed her and began talking with a friend of his. Kagome felt a tear run down her cheek.

She brushed it away and smiled as she found Ayame.

"So?"

"So what?"

"What did he say to you?"

"Nothing important."

"'Kay, well I'm bored so let's go."

"Sure." Kagome smiled big as Ayame suggested leaving.

Walking towards the car, Ayame looked at Kagome confusedly. "You and Kouga seem to be too close for you guys to be getting a divorce."

"Yeah well," Kagome got into the car, "It wasn't meant to be, besides, we're close friends."

"True."

"You'll have your chance at him, don't worry."

"You really think so?"

"Yep."

The car lurched forward and slowly started on it's way to Kagome's house.

"Ayame?"

"Yea?"

"I wanna walk home."

"But we're halfway there!"

"I know."

"Okay, if you really want to."

Kagome got out of the car and began walking home. She didn't know how to handle the next day, and that scared her. The single thought had scared her since she realized her mistake.

Her cell phone rang and she took it out of her pocket before looking at it.

AGENT

Kagome sighed and answered it.

"Hello Kaede."

"Where are you? Child, you're late!"

"To what?"

"We're working on writing your next few songs for your album."

"Shit! I can't make it, I'm walking."

"Where are you?"

Kagome looked around. "The corner of Barkley Ave. and 7th street."

"I'll come pick you up."

"Thank you so much Kaede."

"It's no problem, we finished looking at the song you gave us and we changed a few things, but we want you to look at it. We think you'll love it."

"Sure." Kagome stood at the corner. She could hear a car starting up on the other end of the phone.

"What was this album's theme again? I forgot."

"Love, breakups, finding it, about someone you love, stuff like that. Shouldn't you know these things?"

"Child, when you get to be my age you feel as if you've lived in the ancient world."

Kagome laughed at this.

They talked for a while until Kagome could see Kaede's car. Kagome hung up and cried, attempting to get it all out before Kaede arrived at the corner and drove her off to the studio.


	5. Does He Miss Her?

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha of the song Secret. InuYasha is Rumiko Takahashi's and Secret belongs to Reba McEntire.

Kagome looked over her song and approved it; she would be singing three songs at a concert, along with a duet for the person she was opening for.

After singing it once through and going over it with a fine tooth comb, Kagome headed home and fell asleep on the couch going over her new song.

Kagome woke up at ten thirty. It took her a while to register what she was doing today. Quickly getting off the couch, Kagome put on her jeans and t-shit from the closet in her room. She quickly ran a brush through her hair and slid on a pair of open toed stilettos.

She was halfway to her old house when she realized the shirt she was wearing. 'I'm sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.'

She mentally cursed and remembered she had another t-shirt in the back, it was tight fitting, but it would work.

She pulled over and changed shirts, she quickly checked the words on this one, 'Kagome Higurashi: Secrets Worth Sharing' Kagome was glad she had her spare shirt in the car.

By the time she knocked on the door, it was almost noon.

"Hurry up, I ain't got all day." InuYasha told her as he led her to the living room. "So tell me, why did you leave, and why you think you can come back after five years."

"I-I found out about you and Kikyo… I thought I was in the way, we kept fighting over everything, and then you hit me… You hit me InuYasha. I went to the hospital due to blood loss because you changed into youkai, it took over and attacked me. I left 'cause I didn't want Akira to know, but you know what? I still love you; I've loved you this whole time! I didn't mean to see you, I thought that if I got a new life, that I would get over you, but the truth is, I love you and couldn't forget."

"Kagome?" InuYasha refused to believe her, but as the tears pored down her face, InuYasha melted, he could never resist her when she cried. "I-I miss you too." He hugged her. He wiped away her tears and she told him she had to leave.

"Can you come back tomorrow?"

"I work from eight to six."

"Then come by after work."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." InuYasha knew he couldn't blame her, but the resentment was still there, he was still mad at her, but wasn't going to pass up the chance to be a family once again. After all, he still missed her.


	6. Would He Forgive Her?

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha of the song Secret

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha of the song Secret. InuYasha is Rumiko Takahashi's and Secret belongs to Reba McEntire.

Kagome opened the door to her house and sighed as she thought of how she was complicating her life. She walked to her room and got out her diary. It was a present from the day InuYasha proposed to her. She flipped open the pages and began to write about the day's experience.

Kagome had almost finished writing everything down when she heard Kouga walk through the door. Quickly Kagome put the diary back and snuck into the living room to say hello.

Kouga was sitting on a couch in the living room. "I sent the papers in today, its almost complete." Kouga began when he saw Kagome, "Pretty soon we'll be roommates, just like old times."

Kagome forced a smile; she had too much on her mind to comprehend what he was saying. "I ordered a pizza earlier, I wasn't sure if you'd eaten." Kouga thanked her, and nothing else happened. Every day seemed to drag on and on.

"How much will the tickets be to the concert?" Kouga tried to make small talk. He figured he would check it out; after all, it was his friend who got her the record deal.

"I'm not sure, but I have five free tickets and two backstage passes to give out, if you want one, its yours."

"I just want a ticket, who all do you plan to bring to this?" Kouga asked as the doorbell rang. Kagome grabbed her purse and answered the door to pay for the pizza.

"You, Ayame, Mom, Souta, and his date. I'm not really sure about the backstage passes, mom plans to leave afterwards, Souta and Hitomi are going to get food, and Ayame is only going to be there for half of the thing, and I'm only doing a small portion."

"Hey!" Kouga grabbed a slice of pepperoni pizza, "You are co-staring with Naraku, and he's playing just as many songs as you are."

"True, I think I'm going to drive around for a bit." Kagome grabbed two slices of pizza and her purse, and left.

Kagome drove around for a few hours when her cell phone rang. Kagome didn't even bother to check the caller id. "Hey," Kagome put her blue tooth in and turned down the radio, "Kagome here, how may I help you?"

"You sound like a secretary." InuYasha scoffed into the phone as he turned the stove off.

"Oh, InuYasha, how'd you get this number?" Kagome asked in surprise as she added the number into her phone at a stop sign. "Never mind, is there anything I can do for you?"

"Well, our last conversation was a little short. I heard you have a concert coming up. It's a surprise to be quite honest. Little Kags, the girl everyone thought would end up as a professional chef is a rising star." InuYasha paused as Akira pulled on his pant leg in order to get InuYasha's attention. "Hang on, someone wants to talk."

Kagome waited patiently until the familiar voice said hello. "Hi Akira, how have you been?"

"Fine." He whispered.

"Well what are you doing right now?" Kagome tried to coax a few more words out of him.

"Talking, dad said you came by recently, you could have said hi." Kagome noticed the resentment in his voice.

"Would you like me to come by to visit? Kagome looked around, she was in the old neighborhood and the house was only a few minutes away.

"You wouldn't anyway." Akira stated matter-of-factly.

"I can be there soon if you want." Akira didn't say anything, but Kagome could hear InuYasha tell Akira that she couldn't see him nodding. Kagome continued on her way to the house.

InuYasha took over the phone. "His bedtime is in an hour, I don't think you would make it in time."

Kagome giggled, "Relax, I'm on Grail Dr. It won't take me long, besides, he was right, I never did talk to him the day I came over."

"Fine. About your concert, Akira loves Naraku and I thought that since you were playing with him and all that maybe-"

"I have two backstage passes if you both would like." She cut him off.

"Are you serious?"

"Its no problem." Kagome parked the car and walked to the door.

InuYasha answered the knock on the door and let her in as he hung up the phone.

InuYasha led Kagome to the living room. "Nice shirt." Akira wrinkled his nose as he looked up from the television to look at her.

Worried, Kagome looked down, her shirt wasn't as bad as most of the ones she owned. "If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them?"

"Akira," InuYasha sat down next to him, "This is Kagome, and Ayame told me you saw her at the reunion."

"That concerns me how?" Akira watched as Kagome sat down on the couch across from the couch Akira himself was on.

"She's your mom." InuYasha didn't think it would go well, but he did hope that Akira would be at least a little interested.

"I'm not calling her 'mom'."

"No one said you had to." InuYasha stood up and made his way to the kitchen to finish the dishes. "She got us a backstage pass to see Naraku in concert." InuYasha mentioned.

Akira's eyes lit up, but he forced himself to calm down. "Thanks." He murmured. "How'd you get the tickets?"

"I'm performing with him at the concert."

"So you're a plastic fake who stupid girls idolize? What a great role model." Akira blurted out. His eyes went wide, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." Akira walked away and went to his room.

"I think he's sweeter over the phone." Kagome walked towards the kitchen to help InuYasha out.

"Feh, its only because he's convinced government agents have our phone tapped. He's pretty smart for a seven-year-old."

Kagome smiled sadly, "I can tell."

"Don't worry about the comment from earlier, he's been attempting to figure anything bad about you, now he thinks he's found something." InuYasha chuckled.

"He's entitled to think however he wants about me. I deserved it."

"You know, his school play is tomorrow, if you want, it's at seven. They're doing Peter Pan and he's playing Captain Hook."

Kagome smiled. She was determined to win his trust back.


End file.
